What's Wrong?!?!?!?!

 

We have passed the one month mark, and we have managed to keep you alive.  Not saying that I was concerned at all, but you have made it longer than any fish or plant I have ever been responsible for!  

I hoped to have this wealth of fathering knowledge flooding into my brain on a daily basis, but that is just not the case.  The only thing I really know is that nothing can calm you down like your mother!!!  Although I am a proficient swaddler, sometimes that doesn't even work.  There is nothing in life more frustrating to me than when you are having one of your "fits".  I run through the usual remedies, like swaddle, shush, rock, glide, walk, bounce, and drive, but sometimes NONE of those work.  I really want to be a good father to you, but when the only remedy that seems to work is handing you back to your mom, it kind of makes me feel like I am falling short in the father of the year running.  But don't feel bad for me, what I lack in patience with a newborn, I will make up for in math tutoring and sports clinics when you are older...

I have always been good at solving puzzles, but figuring out what is making you scream at the top of your tiny lungs is a complete mystery to me.  Maybe it's gas, but we have all kinds of things that are supposed to make that easier to deal with.  Maybe its something that your mom eats that is passing through to your food making you uncomfortable.  Maybe you are just like me, and you are only crying to be difficult!  Maybe you are pissed that you don't have your own room.  Maybe you feel like you got the shaft in the parent lottery (too soon to tell if that is the case).  Regardless of why you do what you do, you have been a real handful over the past two weeks or so.  Don't get me wrong, you definitely have your good days, but when you are having a bad day...     

On a lighter note, we took you downtown for the first time on Sunday, and you REALLY loved the tall buildings!!!  Just kidding, you slept the whole time.  We came down for Lucas' baptism, and you were well-behaved before church and during church, but after church you got into one of your moods.  That is the first time I have had the pleasure of trying to calm a screaming baby in a restaurant (thanks a lot!!).  You will be happy to hear that I was able to get you calm (by handing you to your mother after 15 frustrating minutes...).

So as good as the first few weeks started for me, I have been in a daddy slump the last two weeks.  Hopefully I am able to get right in the next week or so, because I think your mom is starting to get a bit pissed at my recent ineptitude! 

Till the next time...

Dad

4 Weeks Old...

What a crazy few weeks it has been.  You are 4 weeks old today, and growing by the minute.  We don't have an exact weight, but based on our scale at home, you are pushing 11 lbs. already.  Over the past couple weeks, you have been pretty cranky.  Mom and I are getting better at calming you down during one of your fits, but it can still be pretty exhausting listening to you wail.

We tried to feed you with a bottle last night, and it went pretty well...     ...for the first few minutes.   Then all hell broke loose!!!  You screamed for about 30 straight minutes while we tried to get you to finish the entire bottle.  The only thing that was able to calm you down was to put you back on the boob.  Apparently, your mom is not supposed to be within 20 feet of you when we feed you with the bottle.  I guess you, as well as babies in general, prefer milk straight from the tap,.  In addition, if you can even smell your mother in the vicinity, you won't enjoy the bottle.

We have some new photos of you that we really like, as you can see from the pics in this post.  These pics were taken by Sarah Plourd-Jastre, a really talented friend of ours who is starting her own photography business.

On another side note, I started a new job on Monday.  The new position is so close to home, that I can come have lunch with you and mom almost every day.  Talk about a sweet perk!  Also, you mom and I are looking for a new chariot to cart you, and the wealth of baby supplies that come with you, around. 

Pretty boring week in the Thompson household.  While we have been thoroughly entertained by you every night, there is nothing really worth noting to the blogosphere.  I am sure things will get more interesting as every week passes.  But as of right now, I think your attempts at understanding the world around you are likely far more entertaining to you than they are to us.

Till the next time...

Dad

My Personal Little Land Shark...

Almost from the moment we found out you were going to be a boy, your mother and I decided that Noah and Oliver were the front runners to your name.  Now, many names have come and gone from that list since then, but those two always seemed to resonate with us.  Through the wonder that is the Interweb, we were able to research almost anything to do with any name anyone has ever been called, including Oliver and Noah.  Come to find out that "Noah", in addition to being some guy who allegedly built a carnival cruise line for animals, is also Australian slang for "shark."  Now, as you may have already come to find out, I have a slight obsession with sharks, so once I found out that your name is another term for "shark," it instantly became my top pick.  Before you freak out thinking that I named you after a fish, we did like the name long before I found learned this little kernel of useless trivia.

So, since we decided to name you Noah, I have always thought of you as my little land shark, and ironically enough, things keep popping up that just make that nickname really stick for me.  Here are some examples...

1) You kind of have this "fish-out-of water" thing going on when you are laying on your stomach.  I know  that you are a baby, and you haven't developed any muscles to walk, crawl, or even hold your own head up for an extended period of time, but that shouldn't change the fact that you do kind look like a fish flopping around on the bottom of a boat every once in a while.

2) Are you familiar with "Tonic", not the mixer for gin, but the natural state of paralysis sharks can experience when flipped upside down?  Let's assume, for the sake of this blog, that you aren't.  No matter how agitated or restless sharks can become, they can be flipped upside down (in the water) and they will enter a state of natural paralysis.  How does this relate to you?  Over the past week or so, you have become a bit more cranky from time to time.  And by cranky, I mean that you scream at the top of your lungs until your face is red and you are out of breath.  Like blood curdling screams of horror that make your mom and I think that someone is tearing your tiny fingernails out one at a time and pouring hot sauce in the open wounds!  I am getting to the point, so just keep reading... 

Last week, your mom made me rent and watch The Happiest Baby on the Block, which is a documentary about how to calm down a fussy baby.  Like most of the baby shows your mom tries to make me watch (thanks TLC), I immediately assumed that the advice of this doctor was probably rubbish, and I would likely  just continue to try my own (ineffective) way of calming you when you get in one of your "moods".  Basically, a pediatrician named Dr. Karp has a system that should calm down any screaming or colicky (sp?) baby.  I begrudgingly watched this documentary, more to score brownie points with your mom than thinking I would really find any pertinent information for how to raise a child.

I watched in amazement as this doctor took violently screaming babies, wrapped them tightly in blankets, turned them on their side, bounced them up and down, and shhh'd in their ears, all until the stopped crying.  I mean, this guy was like the baby whisperer!  Over and over, he would pick up crying babies and turn them into quiet and calm (i.e. ideal) babies just like David Friggin Copperfield OR just like putting sharks into tonic.

So here we are today, and I have almost perfected the ability to put you into tonic!  Swaddle tight, on your side, bounce the knees, shhh in the ear...    ...and BOOM, quiet and calm Noah!!!!!  So, to sum up the last few paragraphs, I have figured out that there is a way to naturally paralyze you into calmness, IT WORKS, and I intend to use it as often as possible (please don't judge me, it was recommended by a REAL pediatrician)

3) When you get hungry, anything close to your mouth is likely going to get bitten.  Shirts, blankets, hands, fingers, hair, arms, knuckles...  Basically, anything close to your mouth when you are hungry is going to get attacked, just like sharks! 

So there you have it.  Just three reasons why I think of you as my little land shark.  You have been pretty cranky this week, and while I have gotten the hang of the whole baby whisperer thing, it is still a bit foreign to your mom.

Also, we had another doctor's appointment this week, and you are already 9 lbs 8 oz. and still growing like a champ.  Doc thinks you are going to be a monster (offensive lineman?  next Bobby Jenks?)!  I asked him to make a sling for you that will keep your right hand tied behind your back (better chance of becoming a left handed reliever or quarterback), and he said no!  Looks like I will have to keep my original plan of using duct tape!

Till the next time...

Dad

 

Labor Day and Anniversaries...

Although there is plenty to talk about this week, I just wanted to take the time to wish your mother a Happy 1st Anniversary!!!!  Once you get older, you will likely say, "Why do I care about your anniversary, I wasn't even there when you got married," but in this case, without the events of one-year ago today, you would surely not be here today!  So no matter how many siblings you end up having, YOU should be the one child that goes out of his way to wish us a Happy Anniversary every September 6th!

Back to you and everything we learned this week...

What a fantastic weekend!  Aunt Amy, Uncle Mark, and your cousins Allie and Ryan came in from Atlanta to meet you.  While it was nice to introduce you to them, this was also the weekend we introduced you to the rest of the world.  We broke in the stroller this weekend and decided you were old enough, and mature enough, to handle the outside world.  You had many firsts this weekend, we took you to Portillos, Pepe's, Baby's-R-Us, Target, McCullom Park, as well as both sets of Grandparent's homes AND on of your Great-Grandparent's home.  You met two aunts, three uncles, two cousins, a great-uncle, a second cousin, two psuedo cousins, a great grandpa, a great grandma, the Zvoneks, and the Ohdes.  Non-stop action all weekend, and I don't think I will ever stop beaming with pride when I introduce you to new people.

So Saturday morning we met with our second photographer.  We have been blessed with a couple of budding photographers as friends, who were more than willing to photograph you as a newborn.  We first sat down with JR Photography (Jeff Lintz) last Saturday (The pics in this post are courtesy of him).  This Saturday we met with Sarah Plourd-Jastre (samples of her pics will be available later this week).  So one of the primary differences between these two photographers, was that Sarah wanted to take some pics with you "au natural".  We were expecting you to have finished eating, and fallen into a DEEP milk coma, but, of course, that just wasn't the case.  You were wide awake through the entire shoot!

  

After about an hour with Sarah by ourselves, Aunt Amy came by  with Grandma T and your cousins Allie and Ryan.  You had just finished one of your "au natural" poses, and you were starting to get a little fussy.  Now, handling a 10-day-old child sans diaper, as you can imagine, is a bit like playing Russian roulette.   You started to get a little fussy, and Grandma T felt like she knew how to calm you down.  She proceeded to pick up the loaded pistol (that would be you!).  Grandma swooped you off the blanket and began to coddle you like only a grandma can.  Aunt Amy made sure to comment about how funny it would be if you peed on grandma, and sure enough, about 3.8 seconds later, you proceeded to piss all over your grandmother!  Grandma, to her credit, took it like a champ and we all had a pretty good laugh.  

Life Lesson #1 - Pissing on other people is MUCH more entertaining that pissing on oneself (you must be preparing for a life in politics)!

We spent a lot of time with your Aunt and cousins this weekend, and it was great to see them interact with you.  They were so excited to meet you this weekend, and they were more than willing to lend helping hands, as long as it didn't mean changing a diaper.  I hope the fact that they live in Atlanta doesn't deter you from becoming close to them, but knowing my sister (your Aunt), she will do anything possible to make sure we get quality family time a few times a year.  Between their visits to Chicago, our visits to Atlanta,  a little bit of Skype, and a few family vacations sprinkled in, I don't think you and your cousins will have a problem hitting it off!  Worst part is, this is only ONE set of cousins.  While Atlanta makes visits more manageable, you have another set of cousins that live in Sweden.  That will be an entirely different hurdle to overcome!

All in all, this weekend was really the perfect way to introduce you to the world.  Good food, good family, good weather, and good (well-behaved) baby made for a perfect weekend.  We are now a lot more comfortable taking you outside of our cave.  Not sure if we are supposed to be taking you all over the place with us, but our condo is SO small, that cabin fever sets in pretty fast.  It is best for everyone's sanity if we get out once in a while.  

Oh, and by the way, I am working on our current living situation.  There are some life changing events in the works right now and I will update you once more things are finalized, but it will definitely impact where will may be living 6 to 9 months from now. 

Till the next time...

Dad 

To anyone reading this, feel free to contact me to inquire about any photos you see in my blog.  Our friends have been kind enough to help document Noah's early days, so if you like what you see, I would be glad to put you in touch with our photographers.

Potty Trained After 7 Days...

Well, one week down and approximately 987 weeks more until we send you off to college.  Time sure flies!!

I have been back at work all week, and I must say, I would much rather be at home with you and mom.  You have been pretty well behaved all week, but for some reason, you were really fussy all night last night.  I hope that is a one-off occurrence, but I have a feeling that we will have plenty more nights like this over time.

We still can't quite get the hang of this diaper thing.  While neither your mom or I have a problem getting you changed, it appears that some of the diapers we have been using don't do a good job of keeping all of your pee in the diaper.  I mean, god forbid a diaper actually be able to perform the ONE task it is meant to perform.  Oh, and while I am on the subject, you totally peed in your own face yesterday!  I had the towel down covering your bits, but evidently you felt the need to remove the towel so that you had a clear shot.  I found it quite hilarious.  You, however, were not amused once the pee hit your face...

Your ability to time your urination so that it happens exactly 3 seconds after your diaper is removed is uncanny.  With that kind of self control, you should already be potty trained!  So in an effort to counteract your ability to piss all over everything in a 3 foot radius from you, I came up with a brilliant plan.  I went out and bought multiple packages of puppy pads...

In theory, this should be the perfect counteraction to your pension for pissing all over everything.  Your mother, while extremely amused by my sudden flash of brilliance, was not so enthusiastic about my solution.  Apparently puppy pads have all kinds of chemicals in them to make dogs want to pee on them.  Ergo, no puppy pads for newborn babies...

All in all, it has been an eventful first week.  With you, we are officially a family.  With all of the setbacks we have had over the past few years, every facet of our lives seems to be just a little bit brighter now that you are here.  Good things are happening for our family, and you seem to be the catalyst that is bringing it all to the forefront!

Till the next time...

Dad