Once you get a bit older, you will most likely realize what happens on your birthday and on Christmas. All of your family members will be showering you with gifts; toys, clothes, books, more toys, games, and more toys. Once you start to catch on, you will know that at the end of EVERY August and at the end of EVERY December, you will be handed almost everything in your wildest dreams.For a kid, the anticipation leading up to those days is almost unbearable. When I was young, I used to scour the house looking for all of my presents. I knew every hiding spot in our house. So much so, that your grandparents had to hide my presents at other people's houses or in the trunks of their car! I simply couldn't deal with the anticipation of the pending barrage of gifts. I just HAD to see what I was getting.
Fast forward about 20 years to today, and I have the same feeling in my stomach! The only problem now is that I have no idea when my grownup version of Christmas is going to happen. It could be today, it could be tomorrow, or it could be any time in the next 25 days. For someone that has historically not been good at dealing with anticipation, this is pure torture for me!
So here is what I propose (because I am sure you are reading this from inside your mother's womb)...
If you make your appearance by the 22nd, I will let you have your birthday and Christmas celebrations on their respective dates. HOWEVER, if you make me wait much longer, I will make sure that you NEVER know when we will celebrate your birthday or Christmas. All you will know is that it could be 4 weeks BEFORE these dates or 2 weeks after. That's right, 6 weeks of torture!
Don't get upset. This hurts me more than it hurts you (gotta get used to saying that). You are just to young to understand (another gem). Why, you ask? Because I said so (jackpot!). The trifecta of parenting, and I just nailed it!
Till the next time...
Dad
P.S. Trust me, this is for your own good (BOO YAH!!!)
And for yours....
ReplyDeleteGood things come to those who wait!